How to tell your family you’re eloping is one of the scariest things for most couples wanting to follow their hearts and elope vs have the big crowded wedding is “how on earth do I tell my family?” They probably have their own idea in their head of what YOUR wedding day is supposed to look like.
Every family dynamic is different but its a safe bet that someone may have thoughts and feeling about you going the non traditional route. Take a deep breathe because that’s ok. They’re allowed to have their opinions just like you are allowed to have yours. This doesn’t mean you have to take it to heart and make your day about appeasing their feelings.
Some of the most common complaints from family when you’re announcing a desire to elope stem from their own insecurities and jealousness. The most important thing as an eloping couple is to not take it personally. Hear their heart and where they may be coming from. I promise there is probably more to it than them just feeling excluded from your day.
“Eloping is selfish”
Eloping is the furthest thing from a selfish choice, it’s a door to freedom. Your allowed to make your day as memorable as humanly possible. It’s actually selfish of family to make this claim as they are the ones being selfish for expecting you to condense your wedding day into a bottle that suits their wants. You deserve to have the day you’re envisioning. You want to trade a stuffy reception hall for mountain tops and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!!!
“Eloping looks cheap, you’ll regret it”
Eloping couples tend to value experiences over luxury or showing off financial status. This doesn’t mean that eloping isn’t an investment, it’s just placing a higher emphasis on building lifetime memories vs spending $50+ a plate to feed people; some of which you probably haven’t seen in years. You know yourselves best; If eloping feels right to you then it’s probably pretty unlikely you’d regret doing it. Most couples I’ve talked to including myself actually end up regretting doing the big wedding and wish they would’ve eloped in the first place, or done things their way. I highly recommend investing your time and efforts into something that is meaningful and fulfilling.
There are ways to help family not feel left out
One of the main reasons family may throw a stink about you eloping is because they want to feel involved in your day. There are lots of other ways to help them feel apart of the occasion without the physically being there on the day. This could include bringing them dress shopping with you, or doing a post elopement reception dinner.
But at the end of the day don’t feel ashamed for wanting your day to play out a certain way. Your elopement day is the start of the rest of your lives together. Your elopement should be filled with lots of joy. Don’t be afraid to set some boundaries with family members who are adding stress to your planning process. Keep in mind their reaction is a reflection of their own feelings and emotions not your decisions. Those who love you ultimately want you and your partner to be happy. they may just be a little confused as to why you would want to do things different than what’s traditionally done. Take time to sit them down. Calmly explain why eloping is the right path for your day while empathizing with their concerns.
You’re someone who recognizes the freedom that comes with eloping, I will be your sound board and expert planning. Helping you cultivate the day you deserve to have. Let’s chat!
XOXO, Alyssa
